Are you curious to know what you’re going to look like in 20 years but don’t want to wait 20 years to find out?

Click this link to find out.

If you dare!

(Miami Times)- 

A newly released study shows that a majority of shark attack victims in Florida were wearing black and white swimsuits. But it seems more and more swimmers may be wearing those colors and that’s what caused the results, not that sharks are actually attracted to the color combination.

Prints are in for the summer, black and white colors are splashed all over suits sold at the Salty Dog in Daytona Beach. Justin Willis, the manager there says, “There’s more black and white swimsuits on the market.”

It seems the color combo is not just popular for swimsuit companies, it’s also preferred by sharks in Volusia County. At least that’s what a new study by the University of Florida shows.

The study, which looked at shark attacks over the past 52 years in Florida, said that swimsuits featuring a color combination of black and yellow were also common among shark bite victims.

Mike’s Thoughts:  Regardless of what color your swim suit is, this is is why it will ALWAYS be safer to sit on the beach than to go in the water.  Besides, the beach is where the cooler is.

 Willie Nelson has finally done it.

After rocking the Pippi Longstocking Look for 3 decades now, Willie has finally cut off his pigtails.

I have this notion that the stylist who cut Willie’s hair got a 3 day contact high from the residual THC content of said pigtails.

A week or so ago I made a somewhat off-handed remark that with her red hair and “bookish” charm, 99.5 The Mountain News Director Cathy Taylor reminded me somewhat of 80s Brat Pack Star Molly Ringwald.

Here’s a picture of both Cathy and Ms. Ringwald.

In hindsight, I was apparently wrong about any alleged similarity in their appearances.

Although rumor has it that Cathy did date Judd Nelson, Emilio Estevez AND Anthony Michael Hall.

(Britain’s Sun) THESE are the first shocking pictures of smoking toddler Ardi Rizal – who throws tantrums if he can’t puff 40 cigs a day.

The Sun told on Saturday how the two-year-old got hooked after dad Mohammed gave him a fag at 18 months.

Mum Diana, 26, wept: “He’s totally addicted. If he doesn’t get cigarettes, he gets angry and screams and batters his head against the wall. He tells me he feels dizzy and sick.”

Read more of this RIDICULOUS (but apparently true) story here. 

Mike’s Thoughts:  So here we have a two year old child in Indonesia who smokes 40 cigarettes a day.  The parents, who gave him his first cigarette at 18 months, say that the child becomes “unmanageable” and throws tantrums when they try to take his cigarettes away.

Apparently America’s legendary “do whatever you want” style of parenting has finally made it to the other side of the globe.

(Newser)- 

Assuming polar bears haven’t guzzled it, a case of Canadian Club whisky stashed near the North Pole decades ago is still waiting for an adventure-seeking drinker to find it. The company has revived the “Hide-a-Case” promotion it began in 1967, and is offering drinkers a chance to join expeditions to uncover the still-missing 6 of the original 25 cases hidden in exotic locations around the world, Asylum reports. 

You can sign up for a chance to be one of eight chosen to go on the Canadian Club-led quest at Hide a Case, which happens to also have the original magazine ads that contained clues to the cases’ locations, should you want to embark on a solo booze hunt. Other cases are waiting in locales including the Yukon, Fiji, and Loch Ness. Mike’s Thoughts:  Wow.  You gotta be pretty hard up for a drink to trek to the North Pole to get it.  Though in fairness, I often put on my “explorer” gear when I trek through the jungles of Colfax Avenue to get to Argonaut Liquors.

(Newser) 

Taking testosterone makes women less trusting, according to a new study. Researchers took a group of 24 women, showed them images of strangers’ faces, and asked them to rate their trustworthiness from -100 to +100. Half were then given testosterone, which made their rankings fall an average 10 points, while the other half, given a placebo, remained constant. 

Researchers theorize that since historically women have relied on being cooperative and sociable for their survival, they evolved to be more trusting than men, who have more often had to fight, physically and socially. “In the same way that we have evolved capacities to help others, we have also evolved capacities to deceive and cheat,” one psychologist explains to the Daily Telegraph. “Testosterone increased social vigilance in trusting humans, presumably to better prepare them for hard-edged competition.” 

Mike’s Thoughts:  Ok, so there’s a slight increase in paranoia but what you have to look at the fine print of the study to discover is that when you give women testosterone:

- they become better drivers
- they become physically incapable of nagging and
- most miraculous of all, they’re suddenly able to sit through an entire major sporting event without ever once saying “I think we need to talllllk…..”

((Newser) Apparently, nobody can leave the house this summer. Not only will your sunscreen give you skin cancer, but your lying sunglasses will ruin your vision. A new study shows that more than 20% of sunglasses (regardless of price) make false claims about UV protection, reports LiveScience. (The study concerned shades made in Europe, but smaller-scale studies in the US suggest the same generally holds true here.)

What to do? For one thing, an eye doctor has the equipment to test the sunglasses. “I myself was surprised to find my $15 sunglasses, a big buy for me, offered less than 50% protection,” writes Christopher Wanjeck. “Half protection is worse than no protection, however. The darkness of my lenses was causing my eyes to dilate and allow even more UV light to penetrate to the back of my eyeballs.” The full LiveScience article has tips on what to look for when buying.

Mike’s Thoughts:  Oh, this is just AWESOME!  Apparently nothing in the world is more dangerous than sunshine and here I am…..I couldn’t POSSIBLY be whiter unless I were made out of a combination of milk and paste.

Who’s in charge of the universe now?  Lex Luthor?

Well guys, if you’re going to the gym for the sole purpose of attracting women…you can stop. Women in an Australian advertising study rated thin or somewhat chubby men at least as highly as those with so-called “six-pack abs,” the Sydney Morning Herald reports. Older teens were shown men with different body types in ads, and the results prove that ad campaigns needn’t portray only muscled-up guys. 

One possible reason? Muscular men may be seen as vain—or gay, the researcher wrote, while regular-size guys may seem “less concerned with their appearance.” Of course, it’s important to remember that—average-size or not—all the guys in this particular study were still models. The same researcher also found in 2008 that plus-size female models are just as effective at selling products as their thinner counterparts.  Mike’s Thoughts:  Even if the results of this study are COMPLETELY false, I’m going with it.  Bring on the nachos!

Another day, another commencement gaffe. Columbia’s valedictorian has apologized for lifting part of his speech—a jokey riff on attending a class called Physics for Poets—from comedian Patton Oswalt, probably best known for his King of Queens supporting role.Oswalt called out Brian Corman on Twitter for plagiarism, and both the student and the school subsequently apologized, notes Gawker. “In people’s heads they think that comedians can’t possibly make up their own material,” Oswalt tells the New York Times. “They’re like, ‘I can just take it. He didn’t make it up.

Here’s Patton Oswalt’s bit.  Seems like an obvious lift to me.

Mike’s Thoughts:  On the upside, at least the Valedictorian has good taste.  If he’d have stolen a bit from Jay “Lame-O” Leno I think they would have had to revoke his diploma.