EWSER) – Halloween costumes don’t come any scarier—or pricier—than this: An LA man has just sold a latex Casey Anthony mask on eBay for a whopping $999,900, KTLA reports. What justified that crazy price tag? Well, the seller touted the mask as a “significant piece of crime history,” saying it was “sculpted to precision for a parody video by enigmatic pop artist/sculptor Torro.” It’s one of just nine masks made for the video (No. 6 in the series, noted the listing).

More from the seller’s pitch: “Forget Freddy, Jason, Meyers, here’s your chance to scare the *#&% out of everyone and win every costume contest with this amazing Tot Mom latex rubber mask, possibly the most frightening mask on the planet.” He started the bidding at $25, ultimately raking in 105 bids and that outrageous closing price. eBay didn’t reveal the winning bidder’s identity; KTLA noted it was the only item he had bought in the past 30 days.

Mike’s Thoughts:  Just when you thought the world couldn’t get any more evil, sick, or wrong…..

(NEWSER) – The great news for people who live in northern climes is that they can now legitimately boast: “We have bigger brains than you southern people.” The bad news is that they’re not any smarter—they just have crappier weather. Scientists who studied 55 skulls from around the world discovered that people who live far north of the equator have bigger eyes to process the dimmer light and thus bigger brains to process that extra visual input, reports theTelegraph.

“Having bigger brains doesn’t mean that higher latitude humans are smarter, it just means they need bigger brains to be able to see well where they live,” says the lead researcher.

You know those words that just sound gross? You’re not exactly sure why, but for some reason, you don’t like them. Huffington Post asked people what they think are the ugliest words. Here are some of the responses:

• Maggots
• Sexy
• Pants
• Adipocere [also known as corpse, grave or mortuary wax]
• Fetus
• Viscous
• Roaches
• Hockey
• Moist
• Hillbilly
• Wolverine
• Slurp
• Hubby
• Panties
• Tender

Mike’s Thoughts:  I suppose it’s just a matter of preference but I’d like the record to reflect that I don’t have any problem at all with the word “panties”.

BLOWN CALL FALLOUT: MLB INVESTIGATING THREATS MADE AGAINST UMPIRE’S FAMILY

Major League Baseball is investigating threats to the family of umpire Jerry Meals. 

Meals blew a call in the 19th inning of Tuesday night’s game between the Atlanta Braves and Pittsburgh Pirates.  He called a Braves players safe at the plate when he was clearly out.  It gave the Braves the win.

Meals’ daughter says people are now calling the family making threats.  Some people showed up at his home.  

Mike’s Thoughts:  Yes, it was an unbelievably, stupifyingly bad call.  No argument there.  But let’s keep some perspective here, people.  It’s a damn game.  Not even a playoff game, for that matter.

Unless you’ve ever been behind the plate for a 19 inning Major League Baseball game, it’s difficult to pass judgement on Jerry Meals.

Threats toward him or his family are an embarrassment to true baseball fans everywhere.

 NEWSER) – “I deal with answers and questions,” Jeopardy host Alex Trebek told the crowd at National Geographic World Championship after hobbling onstage on crutches. “Today I’m going to start with the answer to a question on many of your minds right now. The answer is: ‘At 2:30 yesterday morning, chasing a burglar down the hall … until my Achilles tendon ruptured and I fell in an ignominious heap, bruising my other leg in the process.”

A 56-year-old woman has arrested on suspicion of burglary in connection with the confrontation at the San Francisco hotel where Trebek, 71, and his wife were staying, CNN reports. Trebek was awoken by the intruder and he gave chase while his wife called security, who caught the suspect, according to cops. Cash, a bracelet, and other items were taken from the couple’s room. Trebek is scheduled for surgery tomorrow and is expected to be in a cast for some six weeks, AP reports.

Mike’s Thoughts:  Keep in mind, they can’t try the suspect in the case twice because that would be “Double Jeopardy”.  Thank you, Cleveland!  Good night!

A group of Atheists don’t want a cross to be displayed at the National September 11th Memorial and Museum in New York City and filed suit yesterday in an attempt to stop it.

The cross-shaped steel beams were found in the ruins of the World Trade Center and were recently given a “ceremonial blessing” by the Reverend Brian Jordon. Yet Jane Everhart, who is part of the lawsuit, said the cross is an “ugly piece of wreckage” that “does not represent anything…but horror and death.”

In the lawsuit, the group that calls themselves American Atheists claim that the cross-shaped steel beams promote Christianity over other religions on public property and it diminishes the civil rights of non-Christians.

Mike’s Thoughts:  I understand the idea of separation of church and state and I”m a strong believer in everyone’s right to practice their own religion, but this seems utterly ridicuous to me.  No one’s civil rights are diminished by virtue of a cross.  The only time civil rights are violated is when someone is forced to practice a religion they don’t believe in.  Let the cross stand.  It’ll be fine.

(NEWSER) – Christian Vanneque has big plans for his latest wine purchase—which happens to be the priciest ever. The former sommelier has just dropped $117,000 on a bottle of Chateau d’Yquem from 1811—the so-called “comet year,” which legend has it produced superior wine thanks to the appearance of a comet in the sky. The previous 2006 record of $100,000 was also for a bottle of Chateau d’Yquem, though that one was from 1787, the Wall Street Journal reports. 

Vanneque plans to display the bottle in a new Indonesian wine bar he’s opening “in a bulletproof showcase, like a painting,” he says. “This showcase will be temperature- and humidity-controlled. It’ll be a mini-Fort Knox.” Still, he doesn’t intend to leave it there forever. He says he’ll crack the wine in 2017, to celebrate the 50th anniversary of his career. “I will never resell it, even if a wealthy Chinese gentleman or a rich man from the Middle East offers to buy it,” he says. “I’m not a fancy collector. I’m not rich. … I’m a sommelier. Wine is for drinking.” Mike’s Thoughts:  Clearly Mr. Vanneque and I have a difference of opinion on what it means to be rich.  If you have 117 grand to spend on a bottle of wine, you just might qualify as rich.

The world has never seen a man as fast as Usain Bolt. He’s not just breaking world records. He’s destroying them.

But, according to researchers, when you’re running at full-speed, your legs are moving just as fast as Usain Bolt’s.

A science professor at Southern Methodist University conducted a study on speed and found that the legs of athletes and non-athletes are moving at the same speed.

The trick is, when Usain Bolt’s feet hit the ground, they don’t rest there very long and they push off with such amazing force that he nearly flies.

And, Bolt – at 6-foot-5 – has the advantage of being taller than most of his challengers, which means not only do his feet push off faster and harder, but he has to fewer strides to the finish line.

So, feel free to brag about your amazing, world class leg speed the next time you’re tipping back beers with your buddies.

Mike’s Thoughts:  Clearly the researchers in this study have never seen my legs moving at full speed.  Ain’t no way they’re moving as fast as Usain Bolt’s.

(UPI) 

(NEWSER) –  The one-bedroom bungalow featured in The Big Lebowski is on the block as part of a six-home compound in the Venice district of Los Angeles with a very un-Dude total price tag of $2,295,000, Gawker reports. The realtors are holding an open house at the compound today, and Jeff Bridges has been invited to stop by.

Mike’s Thoughts:  A smart realtor would’ve included a year of free bowling in the deal.