(Newser) – What do Doritos and baby carrots have in common? The answer we’re looking for is “they’re both lunchtime standards”—and the baby carrot industry wants to take Doritos and its snack-food brethren down. Some 50 carrot growers are planning a $25 million marketing effort designed to convince kids that baby carrots are “sexy” and “extreme” (no joke), and they’ve hired an über-high profile ad agency (behind the “I’m a PC” campaign) to make that happen, reports USA Today.

So will Doritos-like bags (bearing the slogan “The original orange doodles”) of orange veggies sold from vending machines work? Tom Barlow thinks the uphill battle may be a little too steep, at WalletPop: “We didn’t become a nation of wide-bodies for no reason; Cheetos provide an immediate gratification of salty, sweet, cheesy goodness that is hard to put aside for a snappy little carrot.” USA Today talked to one ad psychologist who has a way around that problem: Put an orange, natural dusting on the carrots. Messy fingers are sure to trick kids into thinking they’re eating Cheetos, Doritos, or any number of artificial snacks!

Mike’s Thoughts:  Next on the agenda, getting the Rutabega the respect it so richly deserves.

(Newser) – Hoverboards may not yet be commonplace, but soon you might be able to live out your Back to the Future fantasies in at least one way: Self-lacing shoes. Nike has filed a patent for sneakers with an “automatic lacing system” that look very similar to the ones worn by Marty McFly in the second film, the Daily Mail reports.

According to the application, the shoes would have “a set of straps that can be automatically opened and closed to switch between a loosened and tightened position,” controlled by a button near the heel. And that hoverboard thing? That may be coming, too. The Mail notes that an artist developed one—albeit one that only moves up and down—earlier this year.

GET A LIFE: SOME FANTASY FOOTBALL DIEHARDS BUYING INSURANCE

With millions of guys across the country preparing for their fantasy football drafts this weekend, there are increasing numbers of them purchasing fantasy football insurance to protect them against the financial losses they’ll suffer if one of their star players goes down with an injury.

 That’s right. Fantasy football players can now insure against the loss of their key players with fantasy sports insurance — or FSI.

 Anthony Giaccone and Henry Olszewski, real insurance brokers with Intermarket Insurance Agency, came up with FSI after Olszewski’s fantasy quarterback, New England’s Tom Brady, pulled up with a season-ending knee injury in the opening game of the 2008 season.

 If your insured players go down, you can collect up to $1,500 in league fees, up to $200 in intra-season transaction fees and up to $200 for the cost of online subscriptions and magazines.

 It costs 10 percent of the coverage amounts you select plus a service fee. For example, $1,000 in coverage costs $105.58.

 And FSI is actual insurance; you receive a full policy document with the players’ names included. And, all claims are paid by check 30 days after the regular season ends.

Mike’s Thoughts:  Finally, the Dungeons and Dragons crowd has something they can make fun of.

NASA is asking your help in choosing which songs will wake up the astronauts aboard the Space Shuttle during its last mission in November. Head to SongContest.NASA.gov to see a list of all the songs played during previous missions — the top two vote-getters will be used. Among the choices are songs by The Beatles, John Lennon, U2, Tom Petty, Rush, Jimmy Buffett, Dire Straits and Bruce Springsteen. Voting ends on November 1st. –Sal Cirrincione

A selection of the classic rock songs NASA is asking you to choose from:

• Beautiful Day – U2
• Homeward Bound – Simon and Garfunkel
• Roll With It – Steve Winwood
• Bright Side of the Road – Van Morrison
• Imagine – John Lennon
• She Blinded Me With Science – Thomas Dolby
• Countdown – Rush
• Learning to Fly – Tom Petty
• Should I Stay or Should I Go? – The Clash
• Enter Sandman – Metallica
• Magic Carpet Ride – Steppenwolf
• So Far Away – Dire Straits
• Free Fallin’ – Tom Petty
• Mr. Blue Sky – Electric Light Orchestra
• Start Me Up – Rolling Stones
• Good Day Sunshine – The Beatles
• Rendezvous – Bruce Springsteen
• Time for Me to Fly – REO Speedwagon
• Here Comes the Sun – The Beatles
• Rocket Man – Elton John
• Window on the World – Jimmy Buffett

Led Zeppelin-Zeppelin IV

Fleetwood Mac-Rumours

The Who-Who’s Next

Eagles-Hotel California

Pink Floyd-Dark Side of the Moon

Bruce Springsteen-Born to Run

Rolling Stones-Exile on Main Street

Now, since there is only room for 7…what would you add, and what would you drop to make room?  Let me have it!

Just plan the WHEN. Then do your research that day or the day before, find WHERE the gold is, and head up.

Don’t skip this one. I know you want to yell at me for recommending people drive more, but more people driving up to see the wonders of nature is good for our relationship with nature.

Off soapbpx now. But seriously, get up there this year. It’s good for ya…

This site will help with the Where AND the When:
 http://www.colorado.com/Articles.aspx?ai…

Just so we get it out of the way upfront, let me state for the record that I love my Dad, Wes.

He’s always been a supportive and encouraging Father, a good listener, a strong advisor, and an excellent role model.

In terms of the luck of the draw, I couldn’t possibly have asked for a better Dad.

Now, if there’s one area where Wes has been somewhat, shall we say, historically deficient the only place I could point to would be his fashion sense.

In short, my Dad is a guy who’s never spent a whole lot of time worrying about clothes. Cool, trendy, and hip just aren’t ideas that have ever hit his radar, if you know what I mean.

It’s more than 20 years ago now, but I still have a distinct memory of my parents loading up the car to take me off to college and my Dad standing in the driveway wearing a blue sport shirt, a pair of plaid shorts, bright white tennis shoes, and horror of horror, black socks pulled up to his knees.

Putting aside for a moment the painful contrast between the plaid shorts and the blue shirt, and the fish belly legs that hadn’t seen the light of day since the Eisenhower administration, as an 18 year old, I couldn’t for the LIFE of me fathom what would possess an otherwise intelligent and educated grown man to EVER wear tennis shoes with black dress socks.

To make a culinary analogy this is like putting peanut butter on a steak. 

In and of themselves, both things are fine but the two should never, ever, EVER go together.

And though I’m embarrassed to admit it now, I believe I suggested to my Dad in that ‘smarmy I know everything’ kinda way that most 18 year olds have perfected, that his chosen outfit wasn’t really going to work for me and there was really no way I could be seen on a college campus with him unless he either swapped out the shorts for pants, or swapped out the black socks for white tube socks in deference to his gleaming tennis shoes.

I know, I know, talk about your ungrateful kid, right?   Here I am headed off for an expensive education, fiscally supported in large part by my parent’s hard work, and I’m worried about my old man’s choice of clothes.  Redefining the word “shallow” on a daily basis, that’s the 18 year old me in a nutshell.

My Dad isn’t one to raise a fuss over most things and as I recall, he went back in the house changed out of his shorts put on pants and some casual dress shoes and with that, we loaded into the car and toodled off to my first day of college.

Fast forward to this past weekend when I’m out in my yard doing some clean up work and as I bend over to pick up one of the kid’s toys, I catch a glimpse of my tennis shoed foot, and just the hint of a black dress sock peaking out under the leg of my jeans. 

Uh-oh.

In my own defense, it’s not like I was wearing shorts at the time and it’s not like I was dropping off my kids at college or anything but they’re still pretty young, and in the next 10 years I could totally see myself winding up wearing black dress socks and tennis shoes with my shorts hiked up to my armpits.

It could happen….

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks:  The torch of fashion dork-itude had been passed to a new generation.

Unfortunately, that new generation is me.

Talk about having the wind taken out of your sails.

As I mull all this over, it occurs to me that my primary goal in life is to live long enough to be habitually embarrassing to all my children and then to live even longer so my kids can come to the same realization that I did this weekend:

Even though your parents are tragically un-hip and often make questionable fashion choices and at various points will do something so unfathomably square that you will want to crawl into a hole and never come out, they love you beyond anything words could say.

And in the long run, that matters a lot more than wearing black socks with shorts and tennis shoes.

Or as Mark Twain once said so eloquently:  “When I was a boy of 14, my Father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much he’d learned in just 7 years.”

Memo to self: call Dad after work today.  Thank him again for everything.

Mike’s Thoughts:  I want to believe this is a hoax, but man, it really doesn’t look like it.  The rumor surfacing thus far is that the girl in question is somewhere in Bosnia but here in the internet age who knows what’s real and what’s not.

WARNING: THIS IS A VERY GRAPHIC VIDEO THAT DEPICTS ANIMAL CRUELTY.  SENSITIVE AUDIENCES SHOULD NOT WATCH.

(NEWSER) – Food scientists told him it couldn’t be done, but after much experimenting Texas chef Mark Zable proved them wrong and invented deep-fried beer. His ravioli-like creation, to be unveiled at the Texas State Fair, contains beer inside a pocket of pretzel dough. The beer remains alcoholic after the frying, and authorities have ruled people need to be 21 to try it, the Telegraph reports.

“Nobody has been able to fry a liquid before,” says Zable, who has filed a patent application for the cooking process. “It tastes like you took a bite of hot pretzel dough and then took a drink of beer.” Zable’s previous creations include chocolate-covered strawberry waffle balls and jalapeno corndog shrimp.

Mike’s Thoughts:  Deep fried beer is impressive alright.  But I’m reserving judgement until I can get my deep fried beer served on a stick.  I like food on a stick.